Ten Minutes
by d.honey
Summary: Somehow, Nolan finds himself trapped in the swirling red-and-white vortex of hell
1. Ten Minutes

**Title: Ten Minutes  
**Prompt: Senshi/Shitennou: Internet, Day 6, **sm_monthly**, January 2009  
Genre: Humor  
Rating: PG13 (for language really)

* * *

"Going to Target - need anything?"

"Trash bags."

"Floss."

"Soap."

Nolan made the mental checklist and stopped. Frowning at Darien, he said, "You don't live here."

Darien shrugged from his position sprawled on the floor. "Doesn't mean I don't need soap."

Nolan grabbed a pencil from the desk and flipped it at the dark-haired man occupying the ground near his bed. He had just stepped into his flip-flops when four females suddenly surrounded him.

He looked around, wondering what he had missed. Serena supplied, "We heard you were going to Target."

"Yeeeeah…?"

"We're going with you," Raye explained in a tone of voice she would have used to say, "You have to wear shoes when you go outside, dumbass."

"O-kay…?"

Raye, Serena, and Amy piled into the backseat of his brick-red '97 Civic – Amy spared everyone some grief by offering to sit in the middle. Mina climbed into the front seat and fiddled with the radio and flipped through his CDs.

Nolan tuned out the chatter and spent the short drive wondering how they'd even found out he was going – when he himself had only known 10 minutes before he'd left.

Almost as soon as the doors automatically opened for them, Mina and Serena linked arms and said something about lotion and underwear. Raye paused for a moment at the dollar section, and Amy cast a smile at Nolan before heading in the opposite direction of Mina and Serena.

"So, like, ten minutes?" he said aloud, knowing they could hear him, but unaware that they were ignoring him.

* * *

After five minutes of waiting by himself at the cashier section, Nolan realized he was going to have to hunt them down.

He found Serena in the candy aisle holding several pairs of colorfully patterned underwear in one hand. Trying not to look directly at them, he agreed that Skittles were a nice change from M&Ms and reminded her that Darien always had some form of chocolate on hand.

After she decided on getting the one-pound bag – "Finals week is next week after all" – he asked her where the other girls were.

Serena looked at him blankly.

Thinking Amy would probably know where everyone was, Nolan headed straight to the book section, where Serena promptly laughed at him. "You think Ami buys her books from Target?"

Nolan started feeling annoyed.

Cheerfully linking her arm with his, she leisurely led him through the store, glancing down the aisles on her side as he looked down the ones on his.

Raye was in the shoe section trying to decide if she wanted the flip-flops with the bright pattern on the insole or with the rhinestones on the thong part.

Nolan opted for the gems – the insole was just going to get dirty and be covered anyway.

Raye chose the patterned one. "The rhinestones always fall off. eventually"

Mina was in the food section, balancing a box of cereal, a bottle of lotion, and a tube of mascara in one hand. She couldn't remember if Lita had wanted brown or white sugar.

"Brown."

Three sets of feminine eyes turned on him curiously. Nolan cleared his throat. "She, uh, mentioned it the other day – when we were studying," he quickly added.

"Funny thing to mention while studying," Raye murmured, taking a box of sugar off the shelf.

"I think Amy wants tea, but I'm not sure what kind," Serena half-way remembered, disappearing into another aisle. Nolan quickly followed her.

"Don't you think she might already have gotten it?"

Serena shrugged and followed Nolan back into the aisle they'd been in, into the aisle where Mina and Raye no longer were.

Grumbling to himself, Nolan took hold of Serena's upper arm firmly. They resumed their aisle-by-aisle search until they discovered Raye in the cookware section.

"Didn't Lita want a new spatula or something?"

"Yeah, but was it the one for baking or the one for flipping stuff?"

They turned to Nolan expectantly, who held his hands up defensively. "I got the sugar."

Serena and Raye started picking up all the different brands and sizes and comparing them. Nolan knew they knew nothing of spatulas and hoped they'd be there for a while.

"Stay here. I'm going to go find Mina and Amy."

Again with the non-reply.

Nolan eventually ran into Mina in the towel section, trying to decide on a new beach towel. "Finals is next week and then it's beach season!"

Wearily, Nolan nearly pleaded, "Just pick one Mina."

Mina found one she liked, but it wasn't the size she wanted. She looked at the towels based on size, found a cute pattern, but hated the colors. Finally, she found a size, pattern, and color she liked, but decided it wasn't worth that much money.

Shrugging, she turned to Nolan with empty hands. "Done."

Nolan looked tired. Pushing Mina ahead of him, so he could keep her within eye-sight, he led her back to Cookware.

Only Raye remained. Silently, she held up two spatulas – Mina pointed to one and Raye put the other down.

Nolan put a hand on each girls' shoulder. Guiding them, he willed himself not to squeeze his fingernails into their flesh.

"Oh, look! There's Serena." Raye broke off from his grip and went down the Office Supplies aisle.

Serena had three packs (Crayola colored pencils, colored gel pens, black ink pens) and was fingering a fourth (number two pencils).

Raye plucked the items out of her hands. "You don't need those! You still have some."

Serena made a grab for the colored pencils and the gel pens. "I need these for art and for my notes."

"The school year's over and you never take notes anyway."

Serena looked longingly before placing everything back.

Nolan felt like his head was going to explode. Is this what girls did at Target? Picked everything up just to put them back down again?

In the end, Nolan followed the girls to the registers. Along the way, they found Amy trying on sunglasses.

Turning to them with a tag resting on her nose, she asked, "What do you think?"

Nolan estimated it was another ten minutes before they walked away from that section – everyone had to try on at least one pair, look in the mirror, ask for an opinion, and look in the mirror again. Amy finally settled on a pair, and Nolan was ready to give a cheer when Serena asked, "Amy, did you get your tea?"

* * *

Nolan re-entered his dorm room two hours later – dazed, confused and very, very tired.

"I just needed a birthday card." He lay down on his bed gingerly, wondering if he had really wasted all that time in the swirling red-and-white vortex of hell.

Oh, the perils of having a car in college.

Darien was still in the same spot on the floor. He grinned sadistically, as if he had known how it would end.

"Next time, send an e-card…. Dumbass."

* * *

end


	2. Man Feet

"I can't tell if that's the grossest thing ever or the coolest thing ever."

* * *

Title: Man Feet  
Genre: Humor-ish general  
Rating: PG-13

* * *

Curiously, she slipped her slim, delicate feet inside. The white tips of her French pedicure contrasted sharply against the dark brown.

"Whoa," she said lowly.

Serena looked over from where she was lying on her stomach.

"Nolan's got some feet."

Serena propped herself up on an elbow, adjusting herself in her swim top appropriately before peering more closely at Mina's feet.

Nolan's dark brown flip-flops - stained black in some places - swallowed Mina's feet. The front edge extended nearly an inch beyond her toes, and her foot moved freely side-to-side.

Mina placed her other feet directly behind her heel. "One of his flip flops can hold one and a half of my feet! Why are his feet so big?" she asked incredulously. "Nolan!" she called to where he was tossing around a football with Jareth. "Why are your feet so freakishly humongous?"

Nolan's partially offended, somewhat puzzled look caused him to miss Jareth's next throw – it spiraled straight into his chest. Jareth laughed. "Pay attention, Sasquatch."

By the time Nolan had made it over to the blankets, Mina had settled herself quite comfortably on her towel – one she had _not_ bought at Target. She leaned back on her tanned arms, giggling with Serena and giving beachgoers a sexy silhouette of her body. Her hair dangled between her arms, and her legs stretched out in front of her, feet together at the heels. Rhythmically, she tapped the balls of her feet together, Nolan's flip-flops hanging precariously onto her toes, comically flopping around as the name implied.

"Your feet are ridiculously humongous," Serena informed him.

"I have man feet," Nolan said proudly.

"You have big feet," Mina corrected. "Freakishly large feet."

"They are proportionate to my body," Nolan said, pretending not be offended. He plucked his foot apparel off of Mina. "Besides, you know what they say about men with big feet."

Mina and Serena exchanged eye rolls expectantly.

Nolan tilted one flip-flop onto its side and inserted something into the padded heel. After fiddling a bit, he pushed his thumb into the middle of the sole.

From a tiny hole in the side, brown liquid poured out generously into an awaiting red plastic cup, the faint smell of whiskey wafting over to the girls.

"The bigger the foot, the bigger the buzz." Nolan winked and walked away, drinking from the just-filled cup.

There was a moment of silence before:

"I can't tell if that's the grossest thing ever or the coolest thing ever."

"I know… but I think I want one."

"Me too."

* * *

end

Notes: There ARE flip-flops that hold liquid like the one described & there are also flip-flops that actually hold a flask in the heel. The former is more fun for fic purposes, but Nolan lies: from what I've found, despite size, 3 oz. is the general amount of liquid to be held

This is a separate drabble from "Ten Minutes," but placed her for Nolan relatedness.


End file.
